Butterflies
by Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet
Summary: Why is it that when Sandy hit Pitch and we saw the Nightmare King's dreams, they consisted of butterflies? Now a Drabble Fic.
1. Butterflies

Imagine living in a world with no light; a void of nothingness that you call your home; a world where you are hated or feared by those few who know you, but you prefer that to the other option—because being hated is better than being invisible. So you strive for every ounce of recognition you can get; for anything at all. So what if the world views you in a negative light…at least they see you. Well, at least they used to.

Then others like you come, except they're different. Instead of fear, they rely on light and belief, so they spread their hope. And then people start _learning_, spurred on by that hope and faith, and you fight it because the only two things in this world that can battle fear are knowledge and faith. Faith in someone or something—such as an old man that can break the social bounds and reward you for following rules or an older brother who can protect you—and knowledge that usually the darkness under your bed does not hold within it some sort of unspeakable evil; that darkness itself cannot hurt you, but only what hides within it.

I don't have that luxury, because I _am_ the darkness. I _am_ dread personified. The knowledge I have is that I am a source of terror and that I will always be either feared, a pariah or invisible. And who can I have faith in? The Guardians who hate and fear me? The Man in the Moon? The one who may very well have chosen me to become like this?

Please.

The Guardians seem to think that all I am capable of feeling is fear and hate. The sad thing is they are not completely incorrect. I can feel fear, hate, anger, perhaps some triumph for those battles I actually win, pride in my own successes (as few and far-between as they are), elation at the power I can gain and wield…and that is it. How can they possibly know what it's like to be so lost for so long—buried so deeply in the darkness that no light could ever possibly hope to reach me? They can't. So I came to the conclusion long ago that if I cannot rejoin the world of the light, then I will drag that world down into the darkness with me!

But I failed. I am once again trapped back in the darkness; ensnared and alone with the fear of my own making because how could I be so foolish as to ever believe that I would be able to escape it?

It is at times like this, when I am lost in my own solitary void that the stillness gains a sentience and the quiet becomes thunderous. It is then that I once again see and hear those visions—the horrible, terrible and utterly _painful_ flashes of what I think were once my memories long ago. Images come to me, so brief that I can never hold on to them; pictures of nobility and fighting and loving. It is these instances I hate the most because I begin to empathize with the Guardians. I used to protect those who mattered to me or those who once surrounded me simply because I knew they mattered to someone else.

It is agony, because I no longer understand what those feelings are like.

Oh, yes, I can feel pain too.

The memories that sting the most are also those that give me something to cling to—a feeble anchor in the blackness. I remember a laughing girl, plump with baby-fat and long, brown hair falling out of a thin braid as I help her chase butterflies through a field on a warm, spring afternoon. It's amazing because I don't recall the light hurting. The very concept boggles my mind.

I remember nothing else about her, except that I used to love her—before I moved beyond the ability to love; before I woke up like this.

I vaguely remember the Man in the Moon telling me that my name was Pitch Black. I figured out the growth of power through human fear on my own. I made my own name as The Boogieman, but when I am once again alone, I remember flashes of butterflies and sunlight…and it hurts, because I am darkness, and I am fear, and I can never hope to have such things again.

* * *

So I couldn't get over the fact that when Sandy knocked Pitch out, he had _butterflies_ dancing around his head. Seriously..._BUTTERFLIES! _So my friend and I each came up with different takes on it. I think hers is going to end up far happier than mine... ^^;


	2. Tweaking

So, the scene this is based off of really bothered me in the movie. It almost seemed like it belonged to a completely different plotline and so I wanted to see if I could write it so that I wouldn't dislike it. I mean, if I can't fix it or if I can't attempt to fix it, I feel I have no right to really criticize. *shrug* So this is more or less the confrontation scene between Jack and the other Guardians on Easter and what I would have changed. At the end, I'll explain my reasonings.

xXx

Jack found Bunnymund first. It hadn't taken him long to find the right tunnel. One of the guard eggs had actually pointed him in the right direction.

He hadn't seen a single, whole egg. He hoped that meant that any unbroken ones would have reached the surface, but somehow, he knew that wasn't the case. He pushed that knowledge aside and raced forward none the less.

He'd gotten to the park just in time to see a child walk right through the giant rabbit and winced. There was never any pain when someone walked through a spirit they didn't believe in, but the feeling…unsettling didn't begin to describe it. When it happened to him, it always seemed to drive home the belief that Jack felt like he was trespassing in a world that would never be his own—like he didn't belong or (on his worst days) like he didn't really exist.

Truthfully, he'd prefer pain.

From the way Bunny crouched, hunched over and shaking slightly, Jack concluded that the lone Pooka agree.

He wanted to say something, to ease the tension and the pain and the depression, but his brain and consequently his mouth didn't want to work. 'Sorry' wouldn't be even close to adequate for this. He'd been the one to go after the voice calling his name when he'd known the Guardian's were waiting for him. He'd been the one to actually go looking for his teeth. He'd been the one to allow Pitch to stall him for time. Easter was ruined, and Jack knew it was all his fault.

"Jack!" North's voice caused him to look away from the quivering mass of fur. The bearded man practically stumbled to a halt just a few feet away, looking utterly exhausted. "Where were you?" he asked, driving his swords into the ground, half out of frustration and half to lean on them for support by the looks of it.

Jack couldn't say anything.

North continued. "The Nightmares attacked the tunnels. They smashed every egg, crushed every basket." His voice took on a more regretful, although still forceful tone and it cut Jack to the very core. "Nothing made it to the surface."

The winter spirit wanted to be sick. Nothing? Not even one egg?

"Jack!" Jack whirled around to see tooth come zooming up to them, looking far more tired and worried than he'd ever seen her.

She glanced in his eyes, and then looked down as if unable to meet them. Jack could see the shame there, as if she blamed herself for everything. Yet again, the frost child didn't know what to say.

Then it went from bad to worse.

"Where did you get that?" she asked suddenly. Jack felt his eyes widen and he looked down at the container of teeth in his hand. He'd almost completely forgotten about it.

He glanced back at Tooth to see the expression had changed to one of denial and shock.

"I was…it's…" He wanted to bash his head into something hard. Reputedly. How can he answer that? How is he supposed to explain that he'd been tricked by Pitch, when he'd known—he'd _known—_something like this could happen.

"Where's Baby Tooth?"

He couldn't stop the slight flinch. Her words felt as if they'd driven a molten stake into his heart.

"Where is she?" Jack had never heard such desperation and…was that _anger_ in Tooth's voice? She never got angry…not at him. "Did you leave her behind? Was she captured? Did Pitch get her too?" Her questions bombarded him and her voice rose to near hysterical levels. "Why did you go after those? We promised we'd help you find them later, Jack! We would have helped you! Why didn't you believe us? And now Baby Tooth…"

She suddenly faded off and looked down, tears beginning to run down her cheeks.

"She was all I had left…"

No other words she could have said would have struck him harder. He'd taken Baby Tooth down there, to Pitch's lair, and he'd left her and the other mini fairies…he'd chosen to turn away and search for his teeth instead.

And then he'd done to Tooth what had been done to him. He'd been the one to ensure that Tooth would be alone now…just like he'd been for the last 300 years.

What had he done?

Or more importantly, what hadn't he done? Why hadn't he just come back?

"That is why you weren't here?" North asked, taking a step towards Jack, anger clear on his face along with something else that took Jack a moment to place.

Disappointment.

"You went after those, when you knew we needed you?"

"No!" Jack heard himself protest. "I…I didn't mean to! I…I just…" He wanted to explain, but his protests sounded weak even to him before he'd even said them.

"We needed you, Jack. You _knew_ we needed you!" North's eyes squinted and that horrible disappointment—so much worse than the anger and the yelling—increased. "We kept fighting, kept holding on and hoping you would come…and you never did."

"I told you," Bunny's voice cut in from behind Jack and he whirled again, beginning to feel claustrophobic as he realized that the three Guardians had more or less surrounded him. "I told you we _never should have trusted him!_" The Pooka yelled. "I warned you all!"

Jack wasn't sure which was worse, having Bunnymund yell like that, having him feel justified in his vindication, or having him ignore Jack's very presence _again. _

_Not that I don't deserve it,_ he thought to himself, and for the first time in 300 years, he actually began to believe it. He'd wondered at times if he'd been such a horrible person in his previous life that this existence had been a kind of punishment. He'd never been able to really believe that train of thought before, but now…

Then Bunny glanced at Jack. He must have read the guilt and horror on his face because he deflated.

"Easter is about new beginnings, new life. Easter is about hope." He looked down sadly, his whole being practically wilting in depression. "And now it's gone."

With that, he turned away and began to move slowly towards the sign in the middle of the park that said "Easter Egg Hunt" in bright, pastel colors.

He wanted to open his mouth and say something, but the echo of a phrase in the back of his mind stopped him. _They'll never accept you. Not really._ He didn't want to believe Pitch's words, but he couldn't stop them from running through his head.

For several seconds, no one spoke. Jack knew this was his chance to defend himself, to let them know that he'd been tricked…but, as he looked around at the three remaining Guardians, he came to the realization that none of it would help. They didn't want to believe him.

They didn't want to believe _in_ him.

And that hurt worse than everything else combined. He felt his own pain and betrayal begin to build at the base of his spine and spread, overwhelming him in moments.

Nothing he could say would change their minds.

He looked back at Tooth and North. Tooth looked as if she wanted to cry, holding one arm with her hand and her shoulders hunched forward as if to give herself comfort. She wasn't looking at anyone.

North, on the other hand, met his eyes for just a few seconds before he shook his head and turned away.

Turned his back…

Just like Bunnymund had moments before—like every other spirit Jack had met.

He reached in his pocket and exchanged the golden tooth container for the little, red, wooden doll with the gigantic eyes. The one North had given him.

North had said Jack would find his memories. North had been the one to encourage him, to keep pushing for Jack to join them…and now…

Jack couldn't look at it anymore. He let it slide from his hands, not even bothering to see where it landed as he leapt into the air.

He didn't know where he was going, but he had to get away.

It was a good thing he didn't look back. It would have hurt him to know no one watched him go.

xXx

Alright, so first change:

Tooth: "What have you done?" felt random and choppy to me. It just didn't seem like something she would say at that moment. I honestly thought the idea of her focusing on the fact that she'd let Baby Tooth go with Jack, despite the fact that she was the only fairy Tooth had left, showed a lot of her trust in Jack, so when he came back without her on top of not being there for Easter would have been a large strike against Jack that we as the audience could relate to more (and Jack as well, imo).

North: "You were with Pitch?" again, it didn't feel right because it made them sound like there was some sort of history that we as the audience weren't privy to (in which case, it shouldn't have been in the movie). So I played up the disappointment instead of the anger/betrayal. "We were counting on you, and you weren't there" seemed like a much better idea than "you went off and played with our enemy".

Bunnymund: Was it just me, or when he came in and said 'he has to go' were you also thinking 'get something new, Bunny'. I honestly was so annoyed by the comment because it would have fit better if Bunny would have supported Jack from the beginning instead of being openly against him. I feel that the 'vindicated' angle worked much better because, in that case, that's probably what I would have done. ^^; It just felt more natural to me.

Thoughts?


End file.
